“Tell it to your therapist”

That is good advice, right?  Everyone should have a therapist.  Whether it’s your friend, family or a paid counselor.  I had an appointment with my therapist today.  Tesla was at daycare enjoying a few hours with her friends.  I had just finished working on my history homework then drove to the therapist’s office.  Shortly after settling into the comfy chair, my cell phone started screaming (literally, my phone screams/laughs wildly when I get a text) and it was from John. 

“I am picking up tess at daycare”

Now he had just told me he couldn’t pick Tesla up at daycare because he had obligations.  He didn’t say exactly what those obligations were and I didn’t ask.  He would have to pick her at 5 pm at home.  Now, at a little before 3pm, he is picking her up??

I texted him back “I already told her I would get her.  I didn’t take her meds to daycare.  sorry.”

“I will pick up meds tomorrow.  I am pulling in there in 5 minutes to get tess.”

I responded “u r a pain in my ass.  her’s too”

Now, remember, I’m sitting in my therapist office in her big comfy chair, sipping my coke and eating a Big Apple’s Bagel sandwich.  Cathy, my amazing counselor, sat back and listened to me read to her what John’s texts said and what my responses were.”  I mentioned a few thoughts I would like to text to him, but that would have just been ugly.

John’s response to being told by his wife that he is a pain in her ass and his daughter’s ass too….

“tell it to your therapist”

Cathy’s jaw dropped when I read that one out loud.

Sweet guy huh?  Sorry I’m concerned about the way you constantly and continually cause Tesla and I to rearrange our lives.  Where we live, what support we receive, if we receive support, custody issues etc.  Yet, no divorce.  No real appraisal on the house or the business.  Joint debt piling up, our names tangled on legal forms.  Lines of credit, now choking the life our of my good credit.  So many worldly goods.  Overindulgence of adult toys.  (not those kind of toys…come on!)  Four wheelers, hot rods, time shares, swimming pool, etc.  Hell, I was sad when my Mercedes was re-poed.  That was a great car and I sure miss it.  BUT, I have another car that no one would bother to steal, much than yet repo.  I don’t live in a big house, that was made even bigger.  The basement of my parents isn’t killing me, but it doesn’t seem fair.  I don’t look far into the future. Trying to be patient.   Life changes during divorce.  I get that.  Tesla gets that.  The people reading this blog GET THAT.  WHO doesn’t get that? (besides the obvious)

Divorce is change.  Life has been changing constantly since 2008.  I don’t know what my future holds.  I see clearly there is no future in my marriage other than divorce….I just can’t seem to shake the 230 lb bald dude that doesn’t want to be married to me.

So John is pissed that I’ve taken to this cyber therapy.  Just telling my therapist wasn’t enough.  I have the whole world to talk to!! 

John texts, “just keep digging that hole, smartass. I am counting on it.”

Yeah, well MY lawyer says I can blog about whatever I want.  Anyone can comment or give their side of any blog I write.  I’m not scared.   Of course I won’t blog about all my little stories.  I have to save the incredibly painful, ridiculous, abusive and hard to believe stories, for my book. 


To sexy for my sweatpants

Standing around thinking about where this divorce is going. Just dyed my hair. Why don’t those hairs in the front take the dye? Those stubborn grey hairs that pop out all over. It boggles my mind all the different avenues this divorce may take. I worry about how this divorce is affecting my daughter. I know there is no saving my marriage at this point. Because I accept that, I am ready for the divorce. All this court over custody and support is a huge waste of money and time. Time from Tess, school, household duties. Just the time spent preparing for what may happen. What if? There is just so much to consider. I still feel I am under this mans thumb.

They are lime green track pants. Not actually sweatpants. I bought them at the Goodwill to save money. They are comfy, color of my college and $1.50. Sweet, sexy and thrifty. That’s me 🙂

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